At 7 months pregnant and more than 50 pounds above my ideal, I'm feeling large. I have to rock a bit to get the momentum to roll out of bed. I watch Biggest Loser and feel like I'm one of them... in fact, I'm within 10 pounds of somebody's starting weight right now (though I'm sure she's shorter than me.)
So while there is a reason for my size, I'm feeling pretty gross.
Today I came across a photo that somebody took of me wherein I looked great. I remember that day: I felt great. I was healthy and had energy.
That photo will be my competition, when the doc approves it after this kid is born, that is.
I can't compare myself with most people, even people genetically connected to me. Lots of women can be 130 pounds and be healthy. The day I reach 130 I will need serious medical attention. When I'm a size 6 it will indicate a need to check me for anorexia.
I'm pretty sure we've got consensus here: that we're all looking to be our best selves. That includes mind, body, and spirit. My best self has to be measured against me; not somebody else. The only person I should compete with is me. The only person I should compare to is me.
2 comments:
Yes, yes, yes, yes! Although I still have to be careful. The self I want to look like again is the one that hadn't had any kids yet. That's not going to be possible. But I know when I'm healthy and I know when I'm not. I'm looking forward to see what my numbers will be when I find that healthy me again.
I find so much wisdom in what you say. I love that you know it and I love that you are confident in it. That said ...
I don't have a photo of myself to be my competition. My goals include reaching a me I don't think I ever have been.
I want to be my best self, but since I have never been my best physically, I've got to work for an unknown. Kind of scary and fun all at once.
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