Enablers

You know what your goals are. You are working toward achieving them. Things are going well and then something happens. You aren't even sure what it was that happened, but something became a road block, a bump, or a stall on your journey.

One possibility: an enabler.

"An enabler in most definitions is a person who through his or her actions allows someone else to achieve something. Most often the term enabler is associated with people who allow loved ones to behave in ways that are destructive. For example, an enabler wife of an alcoholic might continue to provide the husband with alcohol. A person might be an enabler of a gambler or compulsive spender by lending them money to get out of debt. In this fashion, though the enabler may be acting out of love and trying to help or protect a person, he or she is actually making a chronic problem like an addiction worse. " (from WiseGeek)

In my own journey of weight loss, I see lots of enablers. The well meaning visiting teacher who brings a plate of cookies. The grandma who brings her grandsons Twinkies and offers me one too. Any function planner who thinks refreshments are mandatory, especially dessert types. Those who enable overeating are all over the place!

But the theory of enablers isn't limited to weight loss, gambling, or alcoholism. Maybe your goal is to simplify your commitments so you aren't spread so thin. Maybe you're working to get out of debt. Maybe you are attempting to clear clutter out of your home.

In each of those situations, enablers exist as well: the passive-aggressive PTA president who would love your expertise for the upcoming bake sale; the friend who shares all the best bargains and deals that she finds; or, well-meaning loved ones who shower your children with more and more gifts.

Road blocks. Bumps. Stalls.

So how can we all deal with these unintentional villains? Best Online gives these three tips.

1. Stand your ground – don’t be afraid to say no to anyone. This is your life and you make the decisions that are best for you.

2. Recruit support – when your friends and family are getting you down find others that will offer support and encouragement. There are many online peer groups or support meetings you can go to which are filled with like minded healthy supporters.

3. Turn on your blinders – ignore them, you are bulletproof and they can’t break you down. Eventually they will back down and either offer you support or move on.