Loving Ourselves and Others

Over the past 3 week I have been pondering on Cindy's March 2 post "10 Factor that play a key role in weight gain". I came to realize that while I can improve in all 10 areas, (well, drinking my calories really isn't a problem. soda burns way too much going down for me to enjoy!)  the area I really need to focus on was #!.

People with weight gain problems usually,

1. Prioritized other things—such as their families, friends, and jobs—over their own health and well being.

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. 

Oh, I can justify it. 


These past few weeks we have been potty training. (Yes, I wait until my boys are 3 1/2 to do it. I don't want to hear any crap about it either. They are boys. They are not the tallest kids in the world. Boys HAVE to be a certain height before they can successfully pee into the toilet. Step stools make a bigger mess than is worth my sanity. Rant over. Moving on.)


We have had numerous trips to the dentist. Must be done in the morning. Must be done before big kids are home from school. Must do during scheduled exercise time. 


School volunteering. I spend an entire morning of my week volunteering in 3 different classrooms. And then there is PTA. What is the point of the PTA? Do they really do anything besides send home annoying fund raisers? I guess I'll be finding out. Say hello to next years PTA Treasurer. 

Not to mention church callings. I love how I can constantly hear in Church Leadership trainings that we should not be asking both parents in a family to have highly demanding callings that take them away from family time. Hmm.... Elders Quorum President and YW 2nd Counselor must not be very demanding. 

So, how do I fix all this? 


We have mixed up all our YW lessons for this year, and Lesson #40 came up to be taught; Loving Ourselves and Others. Fine. This one shouldn't be a big deal. They are 12 year olds. Half of them don't know who they are, the other half think they hate themselves. Just emphasize that they all feel this way, and that they are all Daughters of God. At some point they will finally believe me and their parents. 


With this attitude it was probably good that I didn't wind up teaching this lesson! 


I actually learned quite a bit here. I don't like being humbled, but obviously need it. 

The first point to be made to the YW was, "A person who feels good about herself is happier and better able to serve others."   True. When I am happy my children and husband are also much happier.


2nd point. "It is sometimes difficult to accept the idea that we need to love ourselves. We might wonder how we can love ourselves without being conceited."  Now, I know when I was 12 I was just struggling to love myself. I didn't care about seeming conceited simply because I had no confidence in myself.  Now it's a different story. I do know that I am someone special. I know I am a Daughter of God. I know I have talents and abilities. I know that I have a husband and family who love me unconditionally. I have quite a bit of self confidence. How do you not be conceited?  Here's the kicker. "Proper love for oneself is not conceit or pride. A person who loves herself in the right way knows that she is a child of God, that God loves her, and that she has many talents. But she know that other people are also children of God and that she should use her talents to serve them." 

"If you truly love yourself, you will remember that you are a physical, mental and spiritual being. Loving yourself as God wants you to means that you use wisdom in protecting  your life and conserving your health in order to complete your mission on earth...


"Comparing yourself to others can... result in either feelings of inferiority or superiority.... Accept yourself as the unique person that you are without comparing yourself to others. Doing this will help you love yourself properly without conceit" (Clark Swain, "Q&A" New Era, Mar. 1979). 


3rd point. "When we have learned to love ourselves, we are then better prepared to extend love to others. If we esteem ourselves, we can then esteem others."


Last point. "As we show our love for others through our words and actions, we feel better about ourselves. The more we love others, the easier it is to love ourselves."


The first time I read through this last point I got frustrated. "My entire problem with trying to take care of myself is that I am taking care of everyone else and I don't have time for me!" Oops. I missed something. So I read through the lesson again, and again. 

Guess what. I finally got it. I NEED to take time for me. It is NOT selfish. It is NOT being conceited. It is important that I feel good about myself so I can properly serve others. If what I need to feel good about myself is to exercise first thing in the morning, then that is what needs to happen. I can always finish the dishes and vacuum after I exercise.  If I need to keep a chart of my daily food intake in order to really keep track, I need to keep it out where it can been seen, and not care that EVERYONE can see it. I need to make sure I take the time to dress up during the day, and then freshen up just before Dennis gets home from work. It is NOT vanity to look good for my husband. 


My goal for the next while, until it becomes a habit, prioritize my own health and well being.  And learn to not feel guilty.